Lifestyle – Shalishah kay

Thought Bubble: Social Media Backlash of Beauty

There has been a lot of noise on social media based on what it means to call yourself a social media influencer, calling into question what people are choosing to represent. One activist said that people are portraying a picture of unachievable beauty, creating a materialistic atmosphere showing followers that it only matters if you have numbers behind you but isn’t that what this world is all about? Isn’t this a message that has always been portrayed through centuries?

“Beauty is only skin deep”- Sir Thomas Overbury (1613 )

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder- Margaret Wolfe Hungerford (1878)

A disclosure, I write the majority of articles as a thinking person that doesn’t have all the answers. I do not write them to solve mankind’s issues or even to give a solution but if we want to get deep and take it all the way back as if it was a Thursday, mankind only raises their head and pays attention if you have numbers. It doesn’t make it particularly right but, if you want to close the deal, then the person with the most zero’s behind the number wins, money/ Numbers talks boo! So in a way, I do not understand why it is such a revelation.

I do get that the voice of the oppressed is becoming louder and there are more avenues to voice and challenge , but, Society has always had a call on what was beautiful or what was the standard benchmark of ‘when you’ve made it.’ Actually, let me rephrase that, society has portrayed what they feel is beautiful through magazine covers and told us what they think we should have through adverts and we have been gullible enough to fashion ourselves after it. That sounds better as we are just as much to blame! We have all at some point been sucked into wanting to follow the fashions of the world. I am not saying that I agree with the fact that people feel pressured to achieve the false reality but society is fake and will always try and manipulate what they feel is perfect. Being in the modelling industry, there has been times where even I felt out of place, as bookers and brands have a say over what they feel is perfect for them and you know what, they are 100 percent entitled- I am the one who put myself into the industry.

For example, I have always been insecure with how much bigger and dis-proportioned my boobs are with the rest of my size 6-8 body. Don’t get me wrong I embrace them and j’adore them now! But being on the receiving end to people always looking at them as if you put too much tissue down your bra in compared to your ‘marga’ waist was a lot at times. Especially in my early days of modelling. One time I went for a casting for a well known brand early in my career and I left wanted a breast reduction lol. I remember standing in a adjustable swimsuit , all the models had been given the same style but it legit barely covered a nipple lol compared to the other less endowed girls who it fit perfectly. It was safe to say I did not get the job and remember texting my boyfriend at the time ( who obviously was not in agreement of popping the fun bags lol) upset that my body was not the perfect beautiful size of the other models.

I would say that was a low point of my career as it made me not want to go for jobs afraid that my body wasn’t the ‘norm’. Honestly, if it wasn’t for a good support network and self belief, I think I would have stopped modelling altogether- no lies! To some reading this it may not be a big deal, but body confidence is real and even though I personally wouldn’t want to change a thing about my body anymore, societies ‘standard’ can call your confidence into question. I thus turned to building my Instagram as I felt it was one of the only ways I could have jurisdiction over what I was proud of and make my own opportunities.

Even though I am small fish in the social media pond, I am able to make my own opportunities and focus on portraying my beauty the way I want to, I have had the opportunity to work with brands and meet people I do not feel I would be able to without the use of social media. I feel that I am able to create my own ‘standard’ and be my own beautiful. Yes, there are people that edit the life from their photos but, 9 times out of 10 they admit it – Photoshop is not a secret anymore and if they do retouch their photos, personally I feel it is there prerogative, we are being just as bad casting judgement on something they post and feel is beautiful to them. I say good on them and there enhanced face tuned bootay!!!

Now is not the time to be tearing each other down about what is right or wrong, I do understand that as influences people are impressionable but my question is, if our little sister, cousin, brother, best friend or whoever is impressionable what are we doing to tell them they are beautiful in there own way, what are we doing to influence our own back yard ? If people in my circle such as friends and family didn’t install particular views and down to this day challenge my mindset, I would not be as strong minded as I am today to love myself as I am despite things that could have knocked me.

I am not going to lie, I feel proud when I see numbers behind my name as I worked dang hard to get there. It is not the whole focus of my life but it is something I am passionate in sharing that hard work pays off and if a 5’3(and a half), big boobed, tiny waist, curly haired chick like me can influence to love every part of you then long may it last.

Real recognises real xx

Thought bubble: I am unapologetically high maintenance and I don’t think it’s a bad thing

There was an instance where a fella, who already had a decent income I assume got a new job and said exactly this ‘Now I feel like I can look after you’. I mean that’s very sweet and it did make me think good lord shalishah you must be a lot to handle. However, I have always thought to myself why should I settle for less than what I can provide for myself and what I would want to give to others? It may sound superficial- but to me, life is way to short to be thinking of what could of happened or being miserable because I forced myself to be content with something that wasn’t up to what I really want. After all, we will both end up unhappy.

I sit here in bed with my favourite mix of ginger-ale and disaronno(one to write down for those who would want to impress lol) and after a conversation with a particular Mr who will remain anonymous I re-confirm that I am in fact high maintenance. Not that I have never been told this before from previous guys I have dated or that I ever denied it- In fact I am quite proud to bear the title as to me it shows I know what I want.

There was an instance where a fella, who already had a decent income, I assume, got a new job and said exactly this ‘Now I feel like I can look after you’. I mean that’s very sweet and it did make me think good lord shalishah you must be a lot to handle. However, I have always thought to myself why should I settle for less than what I can provide for myself and what I would want to give to others? It may sound superficial- but to me, life is way to short to be thinking of what could of happened or being miserable because I forced myself to be content with something that wasn’t up to what I really want. After all, we will both end up unhappy.

Just to clarify to you readers who may think so far reading this that I am somewhat pretentious, I am not meaning it in a full materialistic way I just mean it in a way as to your other half making effort and it lasting longer than the 3-6 months (if your even lucky to get that) honeymoon period. Just being real out here ladies and gents! Which brings me back to this anonymous fella at the beginning. The reason why it triggered such thoughts is because we were talking about needing to unwind and relax to which his perfect situation for us to relax all day in bed, talk about life, have a few bed based activities and then chill for the day- all, may I add, was because of the apparent free parking outside my flat haha.

I mean call me weird or whatever but, even as I type it down, I am like no just no. My reply was ‘ What are we 50?!’ There is absolutely nothing wrong with a day in bed- in fact I probably have days in bed most Saturdays but alone lol and they are perfect. However, my point is firstly, why should you have to plan a day in bed, shouldn’t it just happen ? Secondly, I feel like we have an eternity (if you play your cards right) to be in bloody bed lol. Finally, the only other possibility of a joint bed day is if you are joining me on a heavy weekend ha.

All I am saying is, if we are trying to get to know each other lets says, I don’t want a day in bed where I am probably just going to be left watching you sleep! I want to go to dinner, be in a romantic atmosphere, splash a little cash on a cutie and we can talk about life. Have a spontaneous road trip or just trip in general. Introduce me to hobbies you like to do, go to the pub and watch the footie together for goodness sake! I am just a massive believer that when you are wanting to get to know someone there needs to be effort on both parts and also a special experience- let’s build some dang memories.

Like, how boring would this be if lets say we had kids and my kids asked me, what sort of things did you and Daddy get up to when you was young and I am like ‘Oh we just used to have loads of cute days in bed’. No, just no lol what am I a sloth! I am an adventure girl ( Role superhero intro), a guy who is thinking to entertain the thought of being with me needs to want to add to that adventure not put me to bed every 5 mins- I mean one J Holiday is enough. Even my flat mate who has only known me for 4 Months analysed that I am the type of lady who seems spontaneous and would visit a country, fall in love with it and probably move there without a second thought.

I like to live in the moment, and that moment could be pricey or perceived as high maintenance but honestly, I wouldn’t expect anyone to do for me what I can not already do or build up to do for myself or want to give back to them. So, my intelligent readers, do not settle of less, maybe staying in bed for an eternity with a hot guy/girl is your cup of tea but think, how will you feel looking back at it – make those memories last and fulfilling, be high-maintenance 😉

Skincare Review: Skin Kissed Facial Serum

Lets face it, any one of us who believes they can cake over their imperfection in the heat of summer with the best foundations, concealers and the works have obviously not been in the heat all I am saying is sweat! It is time to let those pores breathe a little and the only way we can is making sure our skin is perfect from now is by using skin kind products such as Skin Kissed Vitamin C Serum.

I was sent this product two weeks ago and already can see and feel a difference as, my face is smoother, less prone to drying out and dewy.

What’s in it?

Aqua ( water), rosa damascene (rose water) vitamin c (ascorbic acid) glycerine hyaluronic acid, Phenoxyethanol, marine collagen (fish) those are the ingredients.

Is this Vitamin Skincare Product Cruelty-free?

Yes! According to this animal loving brand this product has “never come close to an animal”.

Possibly acne/allergy/troubling for some ingredients?

Although it’s obviously possible to be allergic to anything, I personally did not experience any side effects from using this product.

How do you use it?

Skin Kissed suggests using this product twice daily for maximum results even though results vary according to skin type. I personally would apply the serum in the morning just before applying my makeup. I found this super effective as it made my makeup glow and also helped my skin stay hydrated throughout the day. Additionally I would then use this serum after cleansing my face as part of my night time routine.

How much is it? /Size/Approximate cost per usage?
£29.95 for 20ml. How long it lasts depends entirely on how dehydrated you are and how regularly you use it. If you’re using it twice a day, you should be good for about a month. This serum is high-end in its price range however Skin Kissed do not use any cheap chemicals or useless oils and their formula is natural with high percentages of active ingredients, which does justify the amount spent for fast results.

How’s the distribution? Available freely or limited?
At present this product can be found online at https://skinkissed.co/ but does ship worldwide.

What’s good about it?
Does what it says on the packet which is enhancing the quality of your skin. This truly water-based formula can be used as a moisturiser for acneic or combo skins or a serum under a slightly heavier cream for really dry or dehydrated skins. I see evidence of making skin ‘illuminating’ which is a major summer plus!

What’s not so good about it?
In compared to other serums I have used in the past it is not cheap. Although it can be used on it’s own, I personally would only recommend using this on its own if your skin is very oily .

Do you need it?
If you are looking to add a serum into your daily skin routine (which you totally should be), I would recommend as the results are obvious and even though not as affordable as other serums in the market, it will be a treat for your skin!

Thought Bubble: I expect too much from Men…

There is probably some experienced women out there who may stumble across the title of this blog and say ” Well honey, I could of told you that for free” but, no matter how much history replays itself, we always seem to get ourselves into the same pickle – so much for evolution ey!

My issue is this, I get myself into a great and solo stage where I am at my peak, I am happy, not reporting to any one, no significant over and I have reached the stage of contentment in self love and all that. Then bang, here comes someone who you think understands you, gets where your coming from and suddenly I am feeling like I need them to be there for me. Like WTH… I was just fine ten seconds before you came and all of a sudden when they have typically lost interest in whatever the hell they must have found vaguely interesting, has disappeared like Cinderella’s ball gown after 12 ‘o’ clock.

This is not to be confused for one of those ” All men are trash” rants ( I am saving that for next week ha) but, this is a confession that as soon as I find what I believe might be a good guy I find myself giving life and caring but maybe the trick is to not expect the same thing back, not expect him to be my prince Eric from little mermaid (Sorry for the Disney references lol), but realise that things cool off and what might be right for now may not be right forever and not to expect they will always understand the sacrifice and loyalty you are trying to show.

Miscommunication is a bugger and although I long for a guy who can be consistent, all these experiences make it much more harder for the next guy as I become more closed off (sucks I know). But, as they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and as long as you know what you expect from yourself and focus on when you are most happiest, I guess we will find the prince charming that would like to fit around us and meet us in the middle for a change.

In the words of my Guyanese Grandma “Every Mouldy biscuit gat he vum vum cheese” or in other words, there is someone for everyone xx

Nails on Fleek 💅🏾 @NailsBySudan

Believe it or not but warmer weather is round the corner. This means, wedding invites, open toes sandals, spontaneous visits to your favourite roof top bar and generally wanting to look like a million dollars. I am here to save you from holding that Martini glass with chipped nails or having to paint yet another layer of nail varnish on top of those ill-painted toes when the sun suddenly shows it face- trust me we have all been there.All welcome and show some love to Sudan’s Nail Artistry!

Located in the heart of Tooting this new salon is the perfect place to feel and look like a pampered Princess/ Prince. Lavishly decorated, staff are on hand to ensure you receive the best service. Whether you opt for a simple manicure or like myself fancy letting your nails doing the talking through creative and unique designs, Sudan caters for all of this.

My personal favourite is the pedicure bar as you are able to give your feet some much needed TLC and soak your troubles away with some real pampering. So, make sure you head on down to Sudan’s Nails Artistry and make sure you are ready whatever the weather!

Address: 4 Selkirk Rd, London SW17 0ES

Price List & Deals: https://www.treatwell.co.uk/place/sudan-nail-artistry/

Thought Bubble: When The Going Gets Tough…

All I’m saying is, if the last couple of months of my life were televised it would probably be on par with Eastenders and popular on netflix- DRAMA! My phone was stolen, I was in a car accident and now have no car, I am in the process of moving out for the first time and am kind of excited but apprehensive and unlike my last blog- I have actually been giving the whole dating thang a go but feel like I must still not be doing something right or maybe I am – lord knows!

Don’t get me wrong I know there are much more serious things going on in the world and when put in perspective I will get over this very long blip but, it’s like can something just go right for once! I do a good job of covering things over and acting like I am okay with life just not going to plan (she says after finishing her 3rd box of Kleenex ha) but life is tough!

So, what do we do? Honestly, each situation is different and what one person might find an absolute mountain another person could view it as a piece of cake but, it is okay to feel like you can’t handle it. No matter how Superhuman or Goddess-like we may look, we are only human and life is bound to get on top of us. Take a step back and re-evaluate your options to work around the situation or if its something that can’t be overlooked build your inner self to work through it. You got this!

I have also made it a task to set new goals to help me re-focus on something more positive rather than things that may not be going particularly great. A perfect way to build a more positive mind. Start small and realistic and build on them believing that even if it does get sticky like honey it will taste sweet in the end!

Chins up Puddings xx

Planning your Perfect Night Out 🍸

Let’s face it we have all been there, the moment when we need to let our hair down have an amazing time with the gals or guys (or both – no judgement ha) but don’t know where is good to go. Have no fear! I am here.

Start At :

Don’t get me wrong you can never beat pre-drinks at your house but lets face it, sometimes that means you do not leave the house. So to solve that problem :

Tequila Mocking Bird (Clapham Junction): This little beauty is a new favourite of mine. Cocktails are amazinggg! and are presented Instagram worthy. TMB grace our pallets and pockets with 2 for 1 cocktails which are both delicious and sophisticated. My personal favourite is “Disney Princess” as not only doesthe title fit my obvious alter ego (I wish) but the combo of candy floss and vodka is a mix of perfection.
Radio Rooftop Bar (ME Strand): When you are wanting to start of your nights with a touch of Class, Radio offers you just that. Giving you panoramic views over London, cosy outside chairs and fire lamps as well as inside modern decor this bar aims to please. Cocktails are classic with a wide variety and is accompanied by a tasteful live DJ.
Sketch Bar ( Mayfair): Even though Sketch is known for its restaurant and weird Egg shaped toilets (for those who have been there!). This place definitely caters for your imagination and embraces the creativity of London. On site there are 4 bars so be sure to look around before you fall in love with one room. Cocktails vary according to what bar you choose but, is a certified and must visit place whatever the occasion.

Time to Shake a Leg..

Providing you have survived the pre-drinks you may find it is time for you to let off some steam on the dance floor – a personal favourite pass time of mine!

Market Place (Oxford circus) : Many surprisingly do not know that Market Place is actually home to one of THE best basement clubs I have been to so far. One of the few places where the bouncers now know my name. Anyway, Market Place offers a great haven for old school r’n’b and urban classics mixed with a reasonable priced bar. My recommendation would be to go on Fridays as for me that is when the vibe is at it’s best!
Disney Princess Cocktail
Faces ( Essex): I mean I literally do love this place and have had some of my best nights here. Not only are you graced with the probability of casually bumping into celebs/reality TV stars but Faces offer great deals such as Bottomless Prosecco on Saturdays and my personal favourite- Ladies night on Friday (wooop free entry). Music is varied and caters to all, drinks are very reasonably priced and is definitely a safe place for wearing that new bandage dress that has been too overdressed for anywhere else! Lad’s umm you can wear that shirt you wanted to wear out too?
Bonbonniere (Wardour Street): This club may have relocated but has definitely not lost its electric Charm. This high-end club is a guaranteed great night out with current music and classics played the atmosphere is magnetic, accompanied with tasteful, fun and grand decor you will be obsessed. The club regularly has events running is is a MUST.

FOOD !

I mean yes, getting your Uber driver to drive through a 24 hour McDonald’s and order a medium nugget meal is kind of a must after you’ve worked so hard on that dance floor. But my lovelies there is alternatives such as :

VQ: This 24 hour restaurant sent from heaven is brilliant for satisfying those alcohol drenched taste buds. Located in Chelsea and Soho, you can opt for pastas, all day breakfast and burgers. Literally diners delight. Be warned however, this is a popular spot so it might feel like you are queuing for club entry again, but when you get there it is totally worth it!

Enjoy your next Night’s out and make sure you party and drink responsibly 😉 xxx

Category: Lifestyle