I feel Alone! So bizarre- Not that I don’t have people around me but, I am sure I can not be the only person to feel alone in a room full of people. I do not want pity, that is not why I have exposed such feelings, I look at it as a transitional period.
I mean for example, I have probably cut and bruised any guy who has tried to show me love or attention recently (not in a physical way) but, in a way that I am fed up of relationships. I vowed a million times over that I would never turn into one of those bitter ladies however, sadly I am a certified member lol! In a nutshell, I have become selfish with my time and want to focus on me and when a guy comes into my life and decides to do the right thing by, giving me extra attention and wants to spend more time with me- I run away and retreat and act like a cow so they give up. Call it a defence method or whatever the hell I am doing, I am just presently no longer a lover or love and sometimes it does kill me as I was never like that!
Then there’s life ambitions, that’s changed to. I’ve seemed to have embarked on some random journey for one which involves; travelling, money saving (a bit of a contradiction with the travelling I know lol) and mainly thinking about what I want out of life first and it does feel quite lonely. You may read this and feel like duh! Shalishah you’re kind of making it this way, which is true – but I feel like I am going through a period where I need to find myself again, or maybe I never did find my true self in the first place? Life experiences shape you.
Anyway, this blog post is for all the ladies and gentlemen out there who have had rubbish thrown in their faces, their eyes opened and now just need A LOT of self Loving, I feel you! Go and find yourself again !